Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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