he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
