I cut my penus on the lid.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
