Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
