I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize