If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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