wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
