She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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