Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Shame - the story of my life.
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