Umm I'm too high to move.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I have fence marks all over my body
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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