The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
