i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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