My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
