wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
