yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
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Farmville is her only friend.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
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We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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