That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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