she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
