Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
