Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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