I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
