Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
did i just pee glitter
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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