if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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