she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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