Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
