I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
one might say we're banned from that church
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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