Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
