Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
