Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
