Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
