road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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