Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
