I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
