What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
