singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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