he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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