I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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