omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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