they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
