Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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