But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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