I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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