My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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