help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
