where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
