did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
