I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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