Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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