five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
