For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
not ubering you a puppy
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
