i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
