Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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