i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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