Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
