where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
