What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
