they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
